Warrior Inside
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: Evelyn didn't die in childbirth as Tobias was told. A fact he finds out when a sister he didn't know existed shows up at his visiting day in Dauntless. From the moment she walks into his life everything changes. For him, her, his ally Eric and eventually even the city. Rating T [May change to M later] Eric, Four, OC, Tris Inspired by the song Warrior Inside-Leader
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This will be a short story and will be slow on updates although I have it mostly finished already. This is a story that is helping me to write through the writers block on a few of my other current WIP's. It will be an eventual Eric/OC but is focusing mainly on stories and other character relationship development for now. Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: As always, V Roth owns it all. I am just playing in her sandbox.**

 _I'm alive; a revolution lies inside_

 _I'm alive, no longer will this hate divide and I'll stand_

 _I will fight just to survive, I won't be denied, I'm a warrior inside_

 _This is the war between you and I, the is the end to your evil lie_

 _And now you've pushed me to the edge, this is the rage in every tear I've cried_

 _I'm alive, a revolution lies inside_

 _I'm alive, no longer will this hate divide and I'll stand_

 _I will fight just to survive, I won't be denied, I'm a warrior inside_

 _No longer will this fear hold strong, no longer will this fight prolong_

 _I'm bleeding through my skin, pushing through the lies within_

 _I'm battling between tears and hate that I've seen_

 _This is the war between you and I_

 _This is the war and I will fight!_

 _[Warrior Inside by Leader]_

 **Scout**

I could hear the voices as they started to get louder in the other room of the home I shared with my mother. Home was such a loose term for the crumbling building we inhabited. She had this saying she liked to throw out there anytime we were forced to move or when she got the urge to; home is where the heart is.

I used to believe in that but it had been a few long years since I believed the woman even had a heart. I had heard the rumors before I decided to find out for myself. Sometimes I wish I never had because I could never look at her the same way again.

"Have the group in Amity said they would come to a gathering yet? We need them if we are going to be able to establish a presence there. It is vital we get in where we can put pressure on the source of food."

Her voice droned on. Shooting out questions and barely letting her 'lieutenants' get in a word edgewise. I rolled over with a groan and put the thin pillow over my ears to try and drown out what I was sure would be a long night of planning and plotting.

Normally I would listen in, soaking in everything she said like a sponge. I knew this would just be a repeat of the same damn thing I had heard repeated over the last three nights. Evelyn was clever but she didn't think much of anyone else's intelligence. She seemed to have a habit of using the same speeches and lines to the various people that served under her.

Any intelligence I could get from listening, I already did the two nights prior when she spoke to the groups from Abnegation and Candor. Except with Abnegation the factionless need a eye for what is going on in the government and where the main supplies for the city are kept. From Candor the factionless keep eyes on the prison as well as some of the power players that can and have made laws that made it really hard on the factionless.

I also knew she had plans for Dauntless. It disgusted me what she thought she was going to be able to do and who she was going to try and use to get it.

I remember the exact moment I started to lose faith in my mother. The day my father died and all her true colors were revealed. I would say love, but honestly there was never much of that between us. She took care of me, after a fashion. But I think that had more to do with the fact that the factionless looked at me. I am the daughter of their former leader. The one that started to bring them all together and stopped the in-fighting. He was the one that thought to break the groups up and assign them specific areas. Something he did based on their old faction ties or aptitudes.

Robert Connor was a child of a former Dauntless dad and Candor mom. He took traits from both of them but it had been his charisma that had helped him make changes to the factionless. I barely remember him he has been gone so long now. He was killed when trying to help a few factionless women get away from the men that were mistreating them.

Not all factionless wanted the life he was trying to make for them. The ones that did and still do now follow Evelyn, as the wife of my dad. They follow her but I know now the reason she hasn't abandoned me, like I found out she did her son, is because they look to me as a symbol. As long as I am around, I remind them of him and the promise of a better life.

I don't know my dad's plans. What he had wanted to happen. Not for sure anyways but I don't think it is what Evelyn has in store. For the past year I have spent an agonizing time going back and forth on what I should do. What I could do.

Tomorrow I would take the first step in finding that out. Tomorrow I would be sneaking in to Dauntless for visiting day to see a brother I have known about for a little less than a year. Someone that doesn't know I exist or that our mother is even still alive.

The voices in the other room drone one, Evelyn's the loudest as always. I drown them out and force myself in to sleep.

 **XXXXX Page Break XXXXX**

"Do you remember the plan?" A worried and grizzled bear of a man asks me as he fiddles with the black jacket he has just helped me to put on.

"I will wait in the corridor you are going to lead me to. You will pass the note through your contact. I am not to move from that corridor even when or if he shows up. You will meet me there after two hours and we will head back to Amity; where we will meet with your group there so we can establish where we have been in case Evelyn is watching out for me." I intone the plan, for the sixth time.

He lifts an eyebrow at me but nods his approval.

"Thank you, Damien." I say softly as I put a hand on his arm.

He gives me a smile. Even with a scar maring his right side of his face his smile is warm. "You don't have to thank me, Scout. I told your dad I would always have your back and I mean it. Besides, I know as much as you do this needs to be done."

He gave a nod of his head, signaling he was done with what he thought needed to be said. Damien was like an uncle to me. More like family than anyone else I had in my life. He was the one that had helped me find my brother, or half brother. He helped me to find out more information about him and the man that is his father.

A year ago when there had been rumors that reached me about Evelyn's son with Marcus Eaton I had determined I needed to find out more for myself. She had mentioned her ex husband from time to time to me. She always said that he was a monster that had caused her to lose everything, that he almost caused her to lose her life. She never once mentioned a son she left behind. She also never mentioned that the son she left behind suffered from the same treatment she had. Even now almost a year later I still have a hard time believing anyone much less a mother would do that to their child. Then I remember who the mother is.

Damien and I head out of Amity and towards the trains. We are dressed in Dauntless clothing obtained from a close friend of his in that faction. A man that Damien had once helped out of a tight spot when they were kids, along with my dad.

At first, Damien had been set on getting my brother a note and then us meet outside of Dauntless when initiation was done. That wouldn't work for me though. I needed to inform my brother about things and he would have choices to make. It was better to give him the information so that he could make plans.

Damien grabs my hand when it is time to jump. Making sure I am ok but also to give me support during the jump. I haven't done this too much. I like to stay away from the trains when I am traveling. Sometimes I catch rides with the Amity trucks. They are always pleasant to me. It also usually gets me fresh fruits or some kind of veggie.

The jump isn't bad but it leaves me shaken up. I always get that way when I am somewhere up high. Then we move quickly along a hidden path and into the belly of the beast, so to speak.

I fidget and squirm as I wait after I am deposited in a little used corridor and a even more unused room that has layers of dust and grime. I have always prided myself on the fact that I keep myself clean as well as any place I am staying. No small feat when you are factionless, which makes me all that more prideful of the fact that I am able to do so. I know that is bad, pride. But there is so very little to be proud of in my life. So small things bring me pleasure.

I run my hands over the slightly large but clean black clothing. My eyes glance over it to make sure that no amount of dirt or dust has made it on to them. I want to make sure I make a good impression and look my best for him.

I hear footsteps, tentative and halting - my stomach flips and turns.

 _What if he doesn't like me?_ I think in a moment of panic and tears burn my eyes. I try to push them and that thought and sudden worry away. _It doesn't matter if he likes you. What matters is getting him the information he needs so she doesn't take advantage of him. It isn't about you. He has been made to suffer enough._

My internal chiding myself doesn't make me feel any better. A chill runs through me when I hear voices outside of the room.

"Look, Stiff, I told you this wasn't a good idea. What if he sent someone after you?" Is hissed outside of the door.

"Jesus Eric. I already told you he won't dare come near this place especially after that report from the clinic here. I think leadership might have threatened him or something."

"Should have done more than that to the prick." Is mumbled as the voices get closer. "Who could it be then?"

"I guess we're about to find out."

Two forms fill the frame of the door to the room I am in. Both of them tall but one is bulky and the other lanky. I can't make out faces at the moment but I know that my brother is the lanky one. Or at least he had that appearance the last I spied of him four months ago.

"It's just some kid." The hulk says in an amused tone.

I frown in his direction. "Excuse you but I am eleven years old. I am hardly a kid."

There is a snort before my brother steps forward and I see his face clearly for the first time. His eyebrows are raised in amusement and he crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head. "My name is Four and this is Eric. What's yours?"

"I had heard you changed your name but wasn't sure to what. My name is Scout."

"Nice to meet you, Scout. Your note said that you had some important information for me that needed to be given to me as soon as possible. What is that?"

I swallowed and looked to the hulk that stepped forward, a scowl on his face as his eyes moved over me. It was like he was scanning me and looking for any information he could get by his inspection. A trait I recognized from Evelyn. One I also had.

I scowled at him before turning back to Four. "I didn't know you would be bringing someone, but I guess it was wise of you. I realize that this is all rather odd."

"You talk like a nose." Eric drawls out with disdain but his lips are twitching. "Yet you are wearing the black of Dauntless. You stand like a stiff though, hands behind your back and drawing into yourself. Making sure you don't bring notice."

My scowl gets a little deeper. Four gives Eric a look before turning back to me. "Anything you need to say can be said in front of him."

I nod and take a breath, looking at the floor. A memory of my father flashes through my mind, coaxing me across a crumbling stone path that had been the only way to get to our new home. I was just five years old. He had smiled at me and told me I was brave after I had lifted my chin and made my way slowly across.

 _I am brave._

I lift my chin and look into my brother's eyes. "My name is Scout Connor. Daughter of Robert Connor and Evelyn Johnson; formerly Eaton."

"Holy shit!" Eric exclaims while Four doesn't say anything.

"That can't be possible." He finally gets out in a strained whisper.

I nod and step forward, letting him see me a bit more clearly. I have the same general shape of face, the same dusky coloring of skin, the same tint of deep brown hair, but where his eyes are dark blue mine are caramel in color.

"I know that you were told that she died, and from what I can gather she almost did but it wasn't until after she already…" I trailed off and looked at his face.

He had gone pale and his lips thinned. His hands were clenched tight. It almost looks like he might pass out for a second.

I look around worriedly and spot places to sit.

"Do you need to sit? I can clean off a spot and…"

"I'll do it." Eric shoved past me as he mumbled angrily.

He started to move stuff around until he found a few chairs and began dusting them off with his hands.

"After she...what...ran off?" Four asked me in a low voice.

I looked at my hands and nodded. "I didn't know about you. I just wanted to tell you that. When I found out...I didn't know how to talk to you."

"Why now?"

"That is a fair question. There are several reasons the main one being, I wanted to know you. I understand if you can't or won't want anything to do with me after this but I had to try. I think if my father had known….he would want me to."

"Your father didn't know about him? I find that hard to believe." Eric said as he came back up to us after he got chairs cleaned off.

I moved to one of them and tried to rein in my temper. "My father and most everyone else only knew of Evelyn as Evelyn Johnson or Eve, as she went by when she met my father. So no...he knew nothing about her past. Most people that leave factions choose to leave who they were behind and do not talk about their past much. It was the same with her. It wasn't until after my father was killed that she began to let it be known who she was previously."

It was quiet as I let them both digest this. Four cleared his throat and was looking at me. I wonder if he was trying to see himself in me like I had been with him?

"You said there were several reasons. Can you tell me about the other ones?"

I nodded and looked again to Eric before continuing, feeling a bit uncomfortable saying all this in front of someone not 'family'. "I found out about you after hearing things around a year ago. I had help in trying to locate you. When I found out what had been happening...I confronted her. I was so angry and sick because I put it together that she had left you. That she had to have known it was going to happen, how could she not! She tried to tell me some bullshit that she thought because you are his son he wouldn't do the same to you."

My anger was building and I couldn't sit still anymore. "Such bullshit. I have seen the kind of man he is among the factionless. Making himself feel more powerful by preying on the weak. Blood wouldn't matter to a man like that."

"It didn't." Came his whispered reply. "So you don't believe her that she really thought I would be ok?"

I stop and look at him for long minutes. The question had been asked with a tinge of hope and I hated being the one to hurt him with the truth. My hatred of our mother deepened for me in this moment. "I believe she was able to convince herself of that - that she has convinced herself of that but deep down she knew. She knew but she didn't really care. Our mother…" my voice broke with my own hurt but refusing to cry. "She doesn't care unless it is convenient for her. I know you are probably looking at me and asking; why did she stay for her and not me? I know I would be if I were you."

"Smart girl." Is mumbled from Eric before Four sends him a glare, shutting him up and making the young man look down for a moment. A second of shame passed through his eyes.

I continued on not sure how I felt about my brother's friend. "She has never said it but the only reason she hasn't passed me off completely to someone else or abandoned me is because of who my father was and what he meant to the factionless."

I can see both young men are intrigued. Why wouldn't they be? They belong to a faction that is charged with the policing of my people.

"My father was born factionless but his dad was Dauntless and his mom was Candor. I am not sure what caused them to leave. They both left for various reasons though. Either way when they raised him it was with the belief that the factionless still had a place in the city and needed to act as such. That they couldn't expect to be treated like that if we aren't willing to behave and co-operate. He began to help unite them and tried to impress on them that we aren't animals. In an effort to maintain some kind of order, he also did his own version of policing. He had a saying, if you act like a rabid animal I will not hesitate to put you down like one."

Eric gave a bit of a feral smile. "Sounds like a hell of a guy."

I didn't know what to think of that. I sat blinking at Eric for a few seconds before Four put his hand on my arm and gave me a small smile, telling me to go ahead. Leading me to sit down again.

"He was a leader, or a potential one. They followed him and after his death, she wanted to take up his reins. They don't look at her like they did him. I think she keeps me around as a reminder of who she was with. As if she has taken up his cause with the promise I will step into his shoes when I am older. She even has had me taking lessons with various people he was close to."

"She sounds like someone I knew back in Erudite. Someone I hated." Eric spit out.

Four looked to Eric and raised an eyebrow, but Eric just gave him a nod back.

"It is probably because she was Erudite. She transferred to Abnegation but I am not sure why. I think it was to get a place or foothold in government. I get the feeling that Evelyn was always power hungry."

They both nod in understanding or agreement, I don't know which. "So why are you coming now? What information did I need to have?"

"I found out that she was pleased you went to Dauntless. Almost like she planned, expected or was counting on it. I don't know what that means or what she really has in store but I know that she planned to arrange a meeting with you after you finished initiation. If I know her, she hopes to use her relation to you to be able to get information from you. Possibly even weapons or training for the factionless. I don't know what she really wants from you Four; but I knew I needed to meet with you and at least tell you all of this. I can't imagine this being sprung on you, how you are feeling, and she would have. It would have been like an ambush and I couldn't allow that to happen. I owed you that at least."

"You didn't and don't owe me anything so please don't think that. I can't imagine you have had any better of a life than I have had. Although…" He stopped and he looked at me searchingly "I can hope to hell you haven't experienced what I have."

I knew what he was asking. I could even see Eric sitting forward slightly as if waiting for my answer. A stern and angry look in his blue eyes.

I shake my head. "No, I can say that at least I haven't had to deal with that. I have had my share of scrape ups and learned how to fight a bit but I have a protector of sorts. The only family I can and have claimed really. He was a good friend of my fathers growing up. They made a friend here in Dauntless when they were all just kids. That is who got you the message from me."

"Have you met him? Amar I mean?" Four asks curiously.

I shake my head. "No. I am told by Damien that he checks on me regularly but I have never met him in person. He has no more trust of Evelyn than Damien or I do to be honest. It took Damien telling him a little of why I wanted to meet you so badly before you became a member for him to agree to help as much as he did. I know it is dangerous what he is doing though. Please thank him for me if you would."

I could tell that everything was hitting Four hard. I would have excused myself and told him so, but it was not time for me to go. That my escort wasn't set to be here for another good hour or so.

Eric moved to say something in a whisper to Four then gave me a look before disappearing.

"You don't have to stay. I am fine on my own." I told him after a few minutes had passed.

He gave me a smile and shook his head. "I'll wait with you. It gives me time to get to know my little sister."

He said this with a shy smile and I felt the pleasure and my own wide grin spread across my face. His smile widened at that.

"I would like that." Suddenly I felt like the kid Eric had accused me of being. Especially when that same guy came back with his arms filled with things that brought a frown of confusion to my face.

Four and Eric spread the items out on a battered table they pulled up to the chairs. Then they began to point to and inform me what all the items were.

After eating my fill of the chocolate cake they brought; that they insisted I have before anything else, the burgers, a bag of chips and a drink called soda that had me hiccuping from the bubbles in it - the two young men began asking me about myself.

I guess I look a lot younger than I really am but my manner of speaking confuses Eric. I had to tell him that there were plenty of people to teach me among the factionless but that I also love to read. I get left on my own at times and my only companions are books and Damien; who is not very much of a talker.

"I thought your name sounded familiar." Eric said with a smirk. "We read that book sometime during my primary school days."

"I think we were even allowed to read that one." Four agreed.

I gave a shrug with a smile. I had just told them both that my name came from a book that had been read to my dad by his mother often. It was a favorite of hers apparently and the name had stuck out to my dad.

"Damien said it was…" I stop and search for the word "...prophetic. Something about how I am always sneaking about and looking for something to get into."

"It sounds like good skills to have considering." Eric mumbled around another slice of cake he was working on.

I wonder if there were anymore cake in Dauntless with how much the two of them had put away.

The visit passed too soon for me. Damien showed up and looked surprised to see two young men with me. He turned the glare he wore for everyone else up to full force as he looked both of them over. I think when he saw me, eating another piece of cake after being dared to, smiling and laughing; it made him not be so worried.

"It's time to go, peanut." He motioned with his head towards the door.

"Oh." Disappointment filled me. Also worry that this would be the last time I would see or speak to the brother I was already attached to. That was until Four stood and helped me up, he motioned to Damien for one moment then took me to the side.

"I meant it about wanting to get to know my sister. I still do. I don't know how often we can meet or how we will, but I promise I will see you again." His voice was earnest and he held one of my hands in his firmly.

"I would really like that, Four."

His smile matched my own and I got the feeling I had been looking for of looking in a mirror.

"Call me Tobias when we are alone, if you want."

I tilted my head and shrugged. "I like the name Four. Tobias sounds too much like you are in Abnegation still. How about I call you TJ when we are alone? I think I remember your middle name being James. That way if anyone overheard they wouldn't link it with your full name."

He nodded his agreement and then for a second hesitated before he hugged me gently. We were both a little stiff in it. It wasn't something I was used to really.

We pulled back blushing and he looked to Damien who was standing near Eric, looking annoyed as Eric was asking him something.

"I don't know what to think or feel about her yet, Scout. I think I am going to need a few days to really….just wrap my head around it. You know?"

I nodded, understanding then looked back over to his friend and mine at the door. "I understand. You said you trust Eric. Are you two friends?"

TJ tilts his head in thought and is thinking really hard. "I don't know that we are best friends but we have a mutual understanding now. We hated each other until our instructor and friend Amar put a literal boot in our asses for the crap we were pulling in and out of training." He shrugs and looks to Eric with a slight smirk at how Damien seems to be looking frustrated and perplexed by whatever he is talking to him about. "He understands a bit of what I went through and had some stuff happen to him. So yeah, I trust him."

"Maybe you two could talk about it then. Like get advice on how to handle it if and when she approaches you. I don't want you to think I am trying to manipulate you, but if I could make a suggestion?"

He nodded with frown to me. "You could see what she wants? Like I said..I don't know for sure what she wants but I know it will be something. She always does. I can also tell you...she is really good at playing to a person's feelings. I learned a long time ago that I had to look past that or you can get hurt when you find out it was all just to get her way."

"I'm sorry, Scout. I wish there were something I could do...someway we could be together."

I smiled sadly and shook my head. "It's ok. This is my lot in life. I just make the best of it. I think it will be better now." I grinned and looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Now that I have a brother I can talk to."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is the next installment of this story! Hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot!**

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 **Four**

The sounds of the chasm surrounded me in the spot I had found in my explorations. I was trying to let them soothe the worries that were plaguing me. Two days had passed since the bomb was dropped on me that not only is my mother alive but I have a sister.

A sister that I instantly felt something I had never experienced before and I could tell she felt the same. Love. The kind of unconditional love you only get with family or someone special in your life. Seeing her go away and knowing what she was going back to had my already brooding personality going into overdrive.

I still was having trouble with the knowledge that Evelyn is alive and had knowingly abandoned me. For the last two nights I had replayed all my memories from childhood. More specifically my relationship with my mother. I wasn't liking what I found.

Abnegation were reserved. Hardly showing physical affection especially in public. That didn't mean it didn't happen with kids and there was always the way the other parents were around their kids. As I replayed all of this I saw a pattern with my mother. Maybe it was because of Marcus and maybe not. It seemed that all her motherly affection happened outside of the home with others around. When it was just us at home, even when he wasn't there, she was reserved with me. Not cruel or abusive. Just...like she wasn't really there. She was bored and resentful.

It hurt me, that for so long I had built her up in my mind. Only seeing the affection she used as a show and not the other moments. I put those out of my mind, buried them along with some of the worst moments with Marcus. Now I was being confronted with all of that. Even in my sims.

One of my sims had changed and unsettled me badly. The faceless girl, the innocent I was ordered to kill; now had a face.

Scout.

That had really messed me up and was the main reason I was down at the bottom of the Chasm. That was a real and vivid fear for me now.

Scout is factionless and I am Dauntless. What if I am ordered for some reason to kill her? What if she gets killed in one of the skirmishes with the Dauntless? Women and kids have been caught up in them and got caught in the crossfire before.

There there were the other questions.

What does Evelyn want with me? After Scout left I had been so sure that whatever it was, I wouldn't have anything to do with it. Now sitting down here with that fear in my head I was doubting it.

 _What if what she wanted me to do would help Scout in some way? What if it gave me a way to be with her?_

"You know sometimes I wonder if you should have picked Bruce as your name here. As much as you like to dwell in dark caves." Eric has his usual baiting and sarcastic tone as he slides down to sit beside me.

"Bruce?" I ask as I look at him, shaking my head in confusion.

He waves me away and snorts in disgust. "Forgot who I was talking to for a second. A former stiff wouldn't know a thing about Batman."

"Batman?"

"Yeah never mind. It would take too much energy to explain and I just don't have the patience right now." Eric sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

He was doing something new with it. It looked odd. He had shaved the sides of it down but seemed to be growing the top part of it out. It is normally curly and he apparently hates that so he started to slick it back with some gunk he got at the commissary. Right now it is all messed up letting me know Eric is out of sorts about something.

"What brings you down here?" I ask him casually.

"Maybe I just wanted to check to see if you had tossed yourself off." He snarls back.

I snorted and shrugged. "Sorry, not this time."

There is quiet before he sighs. "Fine. I couldn't sleep. My fear, it worked its way into my dreams."

I nodded. "Same."

"What was yours this time? A new one?" Eric asked with a bit of hope in his voice. He was still sore about the fact that I had only four fears to his nine.

I shook my head with a smirk. "No, still only four of them and it was one that was still mostly the same, just changed."

Eric looks of into the distance into the dark and nods slowly. "Yeah. Same here."

Curious. Despite what they say about curiosity, I can't help myself.

"What was yours?"

"You first." Eric demanded, looking back at me with squinted eyes.

"I am being ordered to kill someone, an innocent. Before it was just someone faceless. Couldn't tell if it was a girl or a guy. Now though…"

"Scout." Eric whispers, strained and knowing, so low I almost don't hear him.

"Yeah."

He nods but doesn't say anything else for a few seconds.

"Have you decided yet? About if you are going to met Evelyn when she makes contact?"

"No." Now I run a hand through my hair. "To tell the truth I think I had decided not to. That whatever it is she wants I want no part of. Then I had that sim and it had me thinking...what if what she wants will help Scout? What if what she wants will let me be with her or something?"

"What if doing that will make you a traitor?"

And that was the problem. I had the strong feeling that was exactly what would happen.

"I don't see how, hearing about her from Scout, that it would be anything else."

I admit this and it is like a punch to the gut. Part of me is torn because I know I would want to. Even it meant having to go factionless myself, I want to be there for and with Scout.

Then the other part of me knows that, even as little time I have spent with her, Scout would never have it.

"You know she wouldn't want that. It's why Scout came to warn you. I think she _knew_ that when you meet Evelyn, the fact that you have a sister and long lost mother, is going to be used against you. Your sister said that Evelyn knew what had been happening to you and that you went to Dauntless. Almost like she expected it. If she is anything like Jeanine, and Four she sounds exactly like her, she will know exactly what buttons to push to manipulate you."

I know he is right but what can I do?

"What am I supposed to do then? What would you do if you found out you had a sister that was living that way? That at anytime she could be killed or caught in the crossfire of something?"

He didn't respond right away. He scratched his head and the sides of his face before he answered.

"I was thinking about this. I have thought about this _a lot_ for the past few days. Especially after what little information I was able to pull out of the grizzly bear she was here with." He mutters the last part darkly but still won't tell me what they had talked about. I think it was about factionless life, specifically Scout's life. I think Eric is trying to protect me by not telling me.

"I don't have a big plan but I have an idea. It's no secret I want leadership for my own reasons. Maybe they don't have to be so different from yours...if you go for leadership as well." He continued on after letting out a breath.

I scowl at him. "You know what leadership would mean."

He nods slowly. "The same thing it means for me. You think there is any way I am going to be able to get out of having to see or interact with her? It isn't going to happen. While I don't like the idea, it would be cowardly of me to deny the position because of it. I look at this as a lesser of evils. Yeah it is going to suck seeing the woman that drove my dad to suicide and have to be civil to her. If I don't, I can't try and make a difference. I won't have any more power than I did back then."

He looks over at me, his blue eyes highlighted by the small solar lantern I have down here.

"You will be powerless just like back in Abnegation if you deny it _because of him_. Not only that but maybe just maybe with you and me in leadership, and if we get enough people to our way of thinking; we can come up with a plan. Something that sees Scout being able to come to you and live or something that helps with things and the factionless?"

I am not sure about the option of making things better with the factionless. Not sure either party even wants that but the other thing. Scout coming here to live is another thought and one I latch on to.

If taking leadership sees my sister safe with me here, I would do it for her.

Eric uses his elbow to get my attention. "I was thinking that, that guy Damien and Amar seem pretty tight. Amar might know what is up with the factionless thing. I trust Amar and I think if we go to him and explain what our plan is, he might be able to guide us. Or at least he can help give us both more information so you can make a decision. I know what I want and what I have always wanted. For you though, it isn't going to be that simple and…" he closes his eyes for a second and sighs "I am _trying_ not to be a pushy, abrasive dick here, Four. You know how I am. I can admit this is hard for me. I don't get why you won't just do what you know is the only way but you have your reasons for being cautious. I tend to just kind of...bulldoze my way through crap. So talk to Amar."

I smirk for a little bit, knowing that admission was like pulling teeth for Eric. He rolls his eyes and goes to get up before I remember something.

"Hey, you never told me what your fear was!" I yell at his back, frowning.

He doesn't turn back around but I hear his chuckle drifting back to me over the chasm. "Yep, sure didn't."

"Ass." I mutter aloud, knowing he is already to far away to hear me. "Tricked me."

Despite that I am not really mad. Not when he has given me some real, and surprisingly really good, advice. I will go to Amar tomorrow after training and run this stuff by him. I already had the feeling he has just been waiting for me to go to him and ask about Scout already.

With a tired sigh I look at the digital display of my wrist watch and groan. I have about four hours to get sleep, better get as much as I can.


	3. Chapter 3

**Scout**

Summer in Amity is always one of my favorites. It is easy to blend in with the other kids of the faction. They are so peace loving and hate to make trouble that they never say anything if an extra mouth or two turns up.

It also helps that Damien and I are always willing to put in work in exchange for someplace to stay and food.

This year almost didn't happen. Evelyn almost didn't let me go to Amity. She has become even more controlling and paranoid now that I am fourteen. In our society teenagers become adults at sixteen. Even among the factionless that is the rule. With my adulthood looming so close, I wonder if she is this way for the fact that the people that only follow her because of my father are waiting for me to step up.

Maybe she realizes that if it comes to that, it is exactly what I will do.

I have not been idle since meeting with my brother a little over three years ago. Neither has he. We have both been making plans and when we can, making them together.

We have to be careful though. TJ met with Evelyn the day after rankings and she proposed what she wanted him to do. I was rather surprised that she at first said she wanted him to think about leaving Dauntless to join her. To join us. Then I saw it for what it was and I knew why she started with that. I hoped TJ saw it too.

 _'We can be a family, Tobias. Something I have dreamed about for so long now. Scout needs her big brother.'_

I had felt sick as she said the words. Part of me, a part I wish I could snuff out, felt such a longing for those words to be real. For her to really feel that way and want it. She was good at making it sound like that is exactly what she longed for. I had been played one too many times by her to think they were anything else but another lie. Another bid to a child that longed for love from their parent more than their next breath.

I had years to rid myself of that longing. At the time I was not sure what TJ would be feeling after that. He had said that he needed time to think. He was angry and that much was real. He was pleased to see me and that was real as well. Anything else I couldn't tell, not right away.

Two weeks later, Damien passed me a message. A time and place for a meeting. One that I was nervous for but excited all the same as well. I needn't have worried. He told me his plan. He would go to leadership along with Eric. Amar was going to be working with and guiding them but the plan was to try and make changes.

Things to help with the life for factionless at the least. But we had to play it smart. Amar and Damien had both suggested that he not cut off contact with Evelyn right away. That he play up he was very sympathetic to the factionless but more to sympathetic to her. That he was reluctant but when she herself suggested he work his way up to leadership he agreed to try. It had been done well and she hadn't suspected at the time.

Lately was a different story. Evelyn is becoming erratic and livid. Dauntless had spearheaded some changes that both cracked down on regulating the factionless but also pushed for some changes to the treatment of the children of the factionless. There has been major opposition for anything more, predictably from Marcus Eaton of Abnegation and Erudite.

You would think that it would make her happy, if she really had the people's best interests anyways, but she doesn't and never has. This has all been about power and she is losing some with every improvement being made.

She hasn't said it where I can hear but there are whispers that she isn't happy with TJ. Hinting that maybe he is really in league with Erudite because of Eric coming from there. It is all ridiculous but I guess she is getting desperate.

Which is why Damien said we should 'get the hell out of dodge' as soon as possible. We have been enjoying our time here but I have a feeling it will be coming to an end soon. The group of factionless that live on the outskirts of Amity have been tense. Damien says there has been movement and a gearing up for something big. The ones in Amity are apparently holdouts but there has been pressure being put on them.

I am currently in a field near the small shelter we were told we could use while staying here. Damien is out getting information on what is going on and I am supposed to be keeping watch for him. If I am being honest, laying here with the tall flowers around me, I am just indulging in the sunshine and fresh air while I can.

I hear the rustling of the flowers and grass being disturbed and raise my head slightly. Damien stands over me with a disapproving look. "And if I had been someone that wanted to do you in? What good would have you been laying out like that for god and all to see?"

Frowning I sighed. A playful response wouldn't do, he was in no mood. "Is it bad then?"

He growls and reaches down to help me up, looking away when the dress I was given rides up a little too far. It doesn't show much other than some leg. I guess his sense of propriety has changed now that I am getting older.

I get my dress fixed and follow along after him as he heads to the hut we are staying in.

"It isn't great." he replies finally after dropping the bag to the makeshift table we use to eat meals at. He picked up some supplies and fresh food at the Amity compound.

I root through the bag and pull out a few apples while bracing myself. "Ok. Tell me then." I say after I have washed, peeled and cut the apple into slices, arranged them on an earthenware plate and cut up some cheese he also brought us.

His face screws up in disgust while he chews his own share of the food. "You really aren't going to like it, Scout. I sure as hell don't. I just don't know what we can or will do about it. Need to get in touch with…"

I slap my hand down on the table and glare it him coldly. "Just…." I take a breath and take my tone down a few notches from angry "...tell me, Damien."

He nodded approvingly, taking charge and being commanding is something he pushes me towards, then he swallowed and began. "It's like we thought. She has found some way to arm more than a few of them here with the orders to cut off the supplies to the city. She plans to put her 'siege of the city' - plan in to place."

I sigh and put the knife I had been playing with down on the table. It wasn't unexpected but there were several things wrong with the plan and her pushing it right now. She didn't have the numbers to pull off something like that, never mind the arms for it.

I shake my head. "It is doomed to fail and just get people hurt. She doesn't have the numbers." I point this out to him again.

Damien grunts his agreement and continues to eat. He is eyeing me and I feel dread. The part I am not going to like is coming.

"She wants to use the kids, Scout. Train them up a little and use them as soldiers. I am not talking almost of age kids like you either. But the young'uns."

Not liking what I am hearing doesn't even cover the rage I am feeling right now. A string of curses I have heard over the course of my life come pouring out my mouth as I shove away from the table and start to pace.

"I can't allow this to happen, Damien. We can't allow it to happen. Even before I heard this it wasn't going to...but now?" My eyes are burning as I look up to my friend, mentor, family; and see him smiling with pride tinged with worry.

"Knew you would say that. I already got word to Amar. Hopefully he will get back to us and we can go from there."

I nod curtly and look to the table, my plate still full of food. I have lost my appetite completely but I know meals are never to be wasted. So I sit beside him and we eat silently but resolutely. I am not sure what I can do to stop the evil she has planned but I know I am willing to do anything.

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It has been four months from the time I found out my mother's plan, both my anger and resolve have grown. When it could be arranged, Damien and I met with Amar to inform him of what intelligence we had. That had been two weeks after getting him a message.

That led to another meeting two weeks after that. One that had Amar, Eric and TJ present. I passed on the information and ideas were tossed around. TJ had become angry and shot down anything that involved me being part of the plan.

It was one the first times he and I had ever argued and it got very heated. It took Amar stepping in and telling us we should both step back, cool down and think. He had left while I was left hurting, angry and confused.

I got he was scared about me getting hurt or worse but after two more months of gathering intelligence and trying to come up with a way of stopping things, we have come up short. So now I am in Amity again for another meeting. This time TJ isn't with Amar and Eric. They have brought another person, the senior leader Max.

Johanna had insisted on being present and of course Damien was as well. I had come up with a plan but I wasn't sure how it would be received.

Damien and I had our own first big fight in all my years of knowing him. In the end he had agreed he saw the merits of it but that he would let the others decide. He is too close to be unbiased.

"Scout, you realize that your brother is going to go mental when he finds out we met you without him. So please, tell me you have a good reason for all of this." Amar gestures with his hands to the room in general.

I see Eric giving a little nod, telling me he is agreeing completely. He had surprised me after the blow up with TJ by trying to comfort me. It had been ridiculously awkward and would have been hilarious if I wasn't still upset about the entire situation. I had felt that he understood where I was coming from so maybe he would support this.

I take a breath and pace a little in front of them before I start. "We all know that Evelyn is closer to her plans being put into place. Plans that I would have already worked to stop but even more so now. I will _not_ stand by and allow the factionless children be sent to the front lines of a war they never asked for and sure as hell have no business fighting. This is a deliberate and spiteful move on her part. The second one of those children come to harm she will use it fuel the fire that has been waning in the others. Conditions have improved so she cannot let that continue. While _I_ cannot and will not allow _her_ to continue."

I let my eyes move over all of them, holding each one for a few seconds before moving on. Gauging their reactions. I saw agreement and the same outrage I had. I also saw worry, doubt and no small amount of pride in at least two of the men.

"What you would you suggest?" Max asked with his hands crossed over his stomach and his head tilted. His chocolate eyes held something, respect maybe, as he listened to me. It encouraged me that this leader wasn't seeing a child but maybe a fellow warrior.

I was suddenly thrown back in time as a memory of my father played for me.

 _Three years old and watching my father in the place we were staying. He had his shirt off and looked to be fighting but I couldn't see anyone. It made me scared but I couldn't run, not away. I ran to him instead, letting out a yell as I ran and trying to scare of the monsters daddy was fighting. He had whirled around, shock on his face._

 _"Scout, what is it? What's wrong baby girl?" He scooped me up from my battle charge._

 _I was scowling and trembling, little tears were coming from my eyes which he wiped away carefully._

 _I couldn't speak and was shaking my head and looking around for the monsters. He followed my movement and it must have dawned on him what was wrong._

 _"You saw daddy shadow boxing and got scared?" He asked me softly as he ran a hand through my tangle of curls._

 _"Not scared." I had pouted and lifted my head straighter, still trembling. "I fight with you daddy."_

 _He had smiled at me, while putting a finger under my chin, beaming at me. "Look at you, my little warrior." Then he pressed his lips to my forehead and sighed. "My hope is you never have to fight, Scout. If a time comes that you do, remember to always fight for those you love and care about, even when it is scary to do so."_

My shoulders went back and my back went straighter at that memory and I was brought back to the present.

"Would you agree that if Dauntless tried to move in at all, it could end up in a large amount of loss of life? Not just for the factionless but for Dauntless as well. You would need to split your own forces to take on the different groups; leaving you vulnerable on that front. Not to mention the fact that it is possible she will throw armed children at you as soon as there is any type of assault on them. No matter that it would be in defense of themselves and protection of the city, I think I can safely assume that none of your soldiers need or want that blood on their hands."

"It is a safe and accurate assumption on all counts." Eric agreed with a nod after exchanging looks between the other two Dauntless. "So where would you come in?"

"We can't fight on some even playing field. She doesn't intend to do that so why should we? If I do this correctly, you might not even need to fight. That doesn't mean there wouldn't be casualties." I say with a pointed look to Johanna.

I know she will hate this plan even more than Damien when I told him.

"Go on." Max motions with his head for me to continue.

I sit back in my seat and clasp my hands on the table in front of me to keep them from shaking in nervousness and my own feelings about this plan. For a moment I feel so very much the young girl I am. I know that I think and act more mature than my fourteen years. I have had to out of survival but I was also made to be this way.

I have been being trained to be a warrior and leader for all of my life. For a second, with the weight of what I know I will need to do pressing on me; for a second I wish with everything I am that I could be a simple teenage girl. One of the ones I have seen in Amity, braiding hair and laughing with friends about simple and silly things. I would even take the life of one of the Abnegation girls, spending their time in service to others.

That isn't meant to be and there is no sense in wishing for something I can never have. Again I think of my father. What he would do or say right now? I think back to his saying and belief.

 _If you act like a rabid animal, I will not hesitate to put you down like one._

"My plan is simple. There are a pack of rabid animals that are threatening my people. I will do what should be done and put them down." I square my shoulders and lift my chin.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here is another installment. Thank you so much for the reviews so far. This really has been a departure for me in writing style and type of story. I am so glad you loves are enjoying it!**

 **Disclaimer: V Roth still owns everything but the dung bombs I am tossing into her universe.**

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 **Eric**

"Do you remember the plan?" I ask Scout as I stand behind her. We are in Amity still, in a house not far from the compound that Johanna set up for the leaders of Dauntless to stay.

Max, Amar and I are all here on the pretense of working out some agreements with Johanna about Dauntless guard presence as well as supplies of food for those guards. I made sure the word was spread around a few weeks ahead of our visit what the purpose was. Establishing a well known reason for the senior leader, second in command and senior security officer would all be in Amity together and for the amount of time we will be here.

Even Four doesn't know it was a cover to meet with Damien and Scout. He is under the impression it is to get more information about the factionless plans by spying on the factionless in the area.

After their last fight, Amar and I knew he couldn't handle what we all had a feeling this was heading to. Max being here was always going to happen. He had the ultimate say and authority on any action taken in protection of the city.

He had also been curious and eager to meet Scout after a long meeting with Amar and I. It had been hard not to express our admiration for her. It had been hard for me not to let my own more personal feelings bleed in to that. Amar has been the same. Which resulted in Max demanding he have a meeting with her himself.

Scout glares at me over her shoulder before continuing her task. "Of course I do, Eric. I am the one that made it after all."

I grunt and go to the door to look out of it, keeping watch for Damien. He was sent to the city to meet up with a contact to obtain a few items that would be needed by Scout and himself for their part of the plan. The two of them will be returning to the place the factionless are using and calling their headquarters after that.

"I know you made the plan but it doesn't hurt to go over it out loud, Scout. We could find holes that weren't noticed before or…"

She sighs and puts the bundle of herbs she was wrapping and preparing for packing away, down before she turns to look at me. "Any holes were already found during the day long hashing out session you three made me sit through." She tilts her head and smiles a little. "I know you are just worried about what Four is going to say. I will make it known you voiced your disagreement so he won't take it out on you."

I scowl and go over to her. "I don't need your protecting and I won't have you lying to your own brother just to do that for me. Is it so hard to believe I might actually be worried for you myself?"

 _Shit. I don't know why I just said that._

Scout blushes a little and looks away, biting her lip. "I guess not." Then she looks back to me and the blush is gone but the determination is back in her eyes. "I know you think it needs to happen. I could see it in your eyes when I was laying it all out. This is the only way we can do this without costing too many lives."

She is right. It needs to happen and this way the chances of success, as well as minimum casualty, increase. My problem isn't with the plan really but what it means she has to do.

"Can you really take a life, Scout?" I ask her softly. Searching her eyes for any hesitation.

"Can I take a life or will I be able to take hers?" She replies with her own search of my expression.

"Both." I reply with a shrug.

She is silent for a few seconds before she replies. Her voice steady and resolved. "In my mind I am being given a choice of her or my brother. If I don't do this, TJ will most likely become a target and if not will certainly be leading any charge. That choice for me is simple, it will always be my brother. I don't want any illusions that my reasons aren't about him first. I am no hero in this. It could be argued that I am taking a cowards way to end it but I don't care."

I smile at her knowingly. Yeah her brother is a thought but that isn't what put the fire in her blood. She was born to be a leader and I had been in awe as she spoke to us today.

I felt the first of respect for her during that first meeting years ago. Going to warn a brother that might reject and hate her from the simple fact of his mother's betrayal. It couldn't have been easy for her then and it had been anything but easy on her since.

Even with Four in her life along with Amar and I helping out as much as we could we were still limited on what we could do for her. She was still forced to move around, There were times where food was scarce. Winters were hard in Dauntless so I knew they were worse for her and the other factionless. I knew from Damien just how bad it could and had gotten for her. She never complained one bit.

I knew she was capable of taking care of herself in her own ways but what was in front of her wasn't anything she had experience with before.

"Ending someone's life, or being the cause of it, is not something that you walk away from without leaving a piece of yourself behind. No matter how in the right you might be or believe to be; even if it is defense of your own or someone else's life. It changes you, Scout. I need you to be sure about this."

"Have you?" She asks me softly and turns away.

I nod and walk over to the table where she started working again. She is avoiding responding to me right away. I know this but I also don't mind sharing a little of my own experiences.

On the opposite side of the table I start to help where I can with the plants, then answer.

"I have before. Like you there was an instance where I knew it would be worse if I didn't act. I was in charge of two units and the one I was leading was in position to resolve the standoff. There wasn't time to plan or regroup so I had to move in. It was life or death but in the end I still walked away with their blood on my hands."

Her hands were shaking slightly and she wouldn't look at me.

"Scout, there isn't shame in admitting you can't do this or that you are scared to. Jesus, you are only fourteen…"

I had a feeling this might bring her out of the fear. She hated her age being brought into her being capable of anything. I remember well the first time I called her just a kid and how it was a button for her. I knew I was pushing her now on purpose but it needed to happen. She needed to have no doubts or hesitation about this.

"You think my age means a damn thing in our world? In _my_ world? She is putting guns into the hands of kids who haven't even gotten their first permanent teeth, Eric! How old were you when you put _your_ first bullet in someone? Just because I haven't killed someone doesn't mean I haven't seen someone being killed. Or seen some far worse things being done or attempted against kids my own age. Yes I am only fourteen but when have I ever been given the chance to just be a kid or teenager? If me doing this allows any of those kids the ability to have that, to live free of that or from the stain on their hands, then I will. It doesn't matter the cost to me because I will gladly pay it."

As she was speaking she had paced her way over to me and then jabbed her finger into my chest hard. Hard enough for it to hurt like hell and rock me back slightly. After she finished speaking her chest was heaving and her nostrils flared in anger.

Swallowing around a flood of emotions I didn't even recognize nor did I want to; I grabbed that hand that had settled lightly onto my chest. She looked at it for a second as if she hadn't even realized she had it there. I gave it a small squeeze before letting it drop and nodding to her.

Hoping my face was blank of any emotion, I looked at her for one more second before turning and walking away. "Good. Remember that." I said over my shoulder to her without really looking back.

She didn't reply or I didn't give her the chance. I stepped out into the fresh air and stalked to the side of the building where I would be out of sight and breathed out in a big exhale.

"What the hell was that about?" I muttered to myself darkly.

Whatever it was could just fuck off. There is no way I would or could get attached or allow myself to feel anything other than respect or concern for Four's little sister.

I snapped myself back to attention and went to find Amar. He could wait for Damien with Scout.

 **XXXXX Page Break XXXXX**

 **Four**

From a young age I had well established and true loathing or fear of fighting. Not the physical kind but that was up there too. It was the shouting, the loss of control with emotions and words. Lashing out and striking deep inside someone where the scars never show but also may never heal.

I had this ingrained in me so deeply that I avoided any reason for me to engage in that type of behavior. I have found over the last four years that when you have people you care about, love with all your heart; it just isn't possible to avoid conflict and fighting.

Man did I ever find this out now that I have two women in my life that I would lay it down for.

My problem is and has been...I cannot and will not ever accept a time when it would be them laying down their life for me or anyone else.

Which leads me to the hurricane I just stormed away from.

They had all gone behind my back! Max, Amar, Damien, Eric….and Scout.

The betrayal was festering in me and I had let it spill out at onto the only other person I trusted and loved the most. My girlfriend Tris.

I thought she would be sympathetic and even just as angry or worried as I am. Even now I can hear her words ringing in my mind and it continues to fuel my anger.

" _So you expect for her to just sit back and allow this to happen? Would you expect that from me?" Tris has asked calmly._

 _She was too calm and that should have been a red flag for me but I was too far gone._

" _If it meant that it kept you safe and you didn't become a monster, then yeah I would."_

" _How would not only standing up for what is right and protecting our city, which is our entire purpose as Dauntless Tobias; how would that make her a monster?"_

 _I had spun around and stared at her incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Did you hear what I said they are doing? What she is going to do? She is going to murder them. How can that not make her into a monster!"_

I saw that beneath all the calm surface, a volcano had been building. All 5'6 of petite blonde exploded on me leaving me slamming out of our apartment before she could tear me into shreds anymore.

I pushed all her arguments and points out of my mind as I continued on my determined path. There was only thing I could do and I was going to make it happen, no matter who I pissed off in the process.

I slammed into the control room where a few high ranking officers in the know along with Max and Amar were standing. Images of maps on the table projecting in 3D while the panel of monitors on the wall displayed various camera feeds.

"Call it off. Now." I demanded, glaring at the two men that were the authority of all this.

Amar looked to Max, whose face was a mask I had come to know. Max motioned me with his head and spoke in a low dangerous tone. "My office. Now."

Spinning I almost ran in there with how angry and keyed up I am. It takes him several minutes before he makes his way in and he finds me pacing in impatience.

He ignores me while he goes to his desk, settled behind it then steeples his hands and looks at me coldly. I take this as my cue to start in on him but he takes one hand and raises it up.

"Before you open your mouth and make another demand I would like you to take a look at your surroundings. Can you tell me where we are currently?"

I scowl at him for a moment before I catch the deadly look in his eyes, then I go to attention and wipe the scowl off my face. "Your office sir."

"Oh so you remember the sir part now? Tell me Four, where exactly is this office located?"

I know I must have a look of confusion before I answer. "The Dauntless Compound?"

He tilts his head to the side and frowns. "Are you sure about that? Because the fact that you phrased that as a question along with the fact that you thought for a second you could just come into my goddamn control room and _demand_ anything of _me_...well it is leaving me confused."

A hiss of a breath leaves me as my anger fades and I realize how much I have been screwing up.

"Catching on finally?" Max asks as he stands up. "Good. Here is what is going to happen. I am going to give you a choice but I want you to know I have every damn right to lock your ass in a holding cell for your insubordination and trying to subvert a high risk mission." He holds my eyes and lets me absorb that before he takes a breath.

"This was not an easy decision or choice for any of us, Four. I understand that this is even closer to home for you and that is exactly why we could not let you in on it. You have already proved you cannot set aside the personal aspect of this and look at the bigger picture. Do you think it is easy for me every time Zeke or Uriah go out on patrols or missions; for myself or Hana? Those boys are like my own flesh and blood, I would gladly step in front of a bullet for them and I know they would do the same for me. We are Dauntless, Four. Your sister might not be Dauntless by birth or by law but can you tell me that you for a second doubt where her heart is? It is you, yes but also this city and her people."

He is echoing Tris' words from earlier but it is still hard for me to swallow. I don't answer any of that so I ask my question. "You mentioned choices, sir."

He nods. "You can gear up and stand by with the back up teams should they be needed; while watching from the control room. Or I can send you home and put guards at your door where you will sit and wait for word to be given after mission completion."

I grit my teeth in frustration. There is no way the second one is going to be my choice and he knows it.

"I would like to suit up and stand ready, sir."

"Good. Head out and get ready. Be back in control in fifteen. The teams will be rolling out in an hour."

I do as he says and find myself back in the control room, standing at the back and quiet. I am being mostly ignored but I can see Amar casting looks to me. I don't bother returning them or even trying to answer the question he is asking me.

He wants to know if I am good and the truth is I am far from it. I thought any real love I had for Evelyn faded when I had proof of her nature myself. Knowing what she sent against Dauntless, what she was capable of ordering be done was just one of the many things she had done or was capable of. I thought I had long ago relegated her to being even worse than Marcus could ever be and no mother of mine.

Apparently there was a part of me that still loved her and the thought of her dying...being killed...had me all over the place emotionally. What really had me frozen right now as I watched events unfold is it being my own sister be the person to kill our mother.

I love Scout but this makes me wonder...what if that warrior and fighter inside of her she showed from time to time...was really just a monster?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Warning...it gets dark here!**

 **Scout**

I read once about the ways animals were put down in pre-war days. People often kept animals of all kinds as pets and treated them as their own children. When they got old or sick they would take them to animal doctors and they would go to sleep.

No pain. Just a sleep they never woke up from again.

I have seen a lot of deaths in my time, maybe too many. I have seen people take their own lives and seen people take the lives of others. I have seen starvation, sickness and nature all claim life with no care for it being a man, woman, young or old.

Not once has death left me as cold and empty as the ones I have just witnessed. Maybe because this time I was the one that wielded death this night. The fire from the barrel I sit in front of is the only sound of life in the cavernous and crumbling building. My eyes roam the ruins and take everything in.

I am not sure why I do this. Why I am doing this to myself.

Just like I am not sure why I held her as she took her final breaths. She knew there at the end that I had done something before she closed her eyes, never to wake again. She had started to fade and I had rushed to take her in my arms and hold her. I wanted to see something in the dark blue depths that had never been there for me a day in my life.

Love.

It wasn't there in life and it hadn't been there in death.

I stroke her hair tentatively as I hear the sounds of Dauntless moving in and around the headquarters. They won't meet resistance. I did my job well.

Oh Damien and I didn't kill everyone, just those here in what she used as her meeting room. Her war planning room. The ones here are those that followed Evelyn in this plan gleefully and with no remorse. Her lieutenants and the ones that would take up power if something happened to her or any one of the others. Everyone else would be asleep as Dauntless invaded our home.

This had only been possible because it was the big gathering. All important and essential among the factionless usually lived spread out. So something like this couldn't happen, an ambush of some kind. It was only because she needed to finalize plans that they had all risked coming together like this. The plan I had laid out had worked out even better than I could have predicted.

There was only minimum loss of life but it feels colossal to me in this moment.

I can see Damien standing sentinel off to the side. Tears are streaming down his face as he too looks around us. I tried to do this as painless as possible and I succeeded for them at least. A meal laced with a sleeping agent and a drug that was promised to be a painless death.

It had been easy to do. The custom of how she had her officers and those around her to eat. All out of the same can or containers. She had talked about it being a show of willingness to share even the meager food we had. I could admit that was part of it. A way to make her seem magnanimous. It was also her paranoia. Anyone who refused to eat was likely to have tried to poison the food.

Which is why Damien and I had injected ourselves with the serum Eric had been able to obtain for us to clear out the poison and sleep agent. We ate from those same cans and containers right along with them.

For the rest of our people, they had only been given the soup prepared with the sleeping agent. There were still many factionless men and women that were just trying to live the best way they could so were being forced to go along with things. I gave them a chance to atone and face the cities justice system. Their fates would be up to them and those in charge.

I look back down on the woman that gave me life and hope that she has peace now that she never had in life. I hope that where she is now, it is free of the pain she carried inside of her. The rage, bitterness, and hatred. I hope that wherever she is, she can know love finally. That maybe she will know the joy of being able to give her love as well.

I hope that by bringing peace to her death it will bring the same to other lives around me. In this moment I don't know that I can or will hope for the same for myself. It doesn't seem right after what I have done.

The interjection of life startles me as does the hand that is put on my shoulder. I drag my eyes away from Evelyn and look up into blue eyes burning with something fierce even if there isn't a twitch in his blank expression to betray what he is feeling.

I see.

I see him and he sees me and we stay like that where time stands still for a second before it resumes in full force. The numbness I felt lifts like some kind of veil and hurt floods me. I want to claw that veil back as I feel the tears and emotions start to consume me.

Eric nods to me, his eyebrows and forehead the only show of his understanding and concern. He shouts orders to others around the room before bending down to my level.

"I can't just leave them like this. I can't just leave her…" I gasp out in a voice raw with pain.

He reaches for my hands and moves them from her as well as gently moving her head from my lap. He then gathers me in his arms and starts to move me as I am still crying and protesting. Eric leans close to my ear, his lips brushing it slightly before he lets out a sigh and speaks to me lowly so only I can hear.

"I'll make sure they are seen to, Scout." His tone is so firm in his promise that it comforts me like no amount of sympathy or promises of it getting better or being okay, ever could.

I think I nod my acceptance before I bury my head in the stiff material of his jacket.

"You need to be ready for the next part. Remember it might seem like we have abandoned you but we would _never_ do that. You will only remain in Candor until the investigation and questioning is finished. Don't speak unless you see one of us present. Understand?"

Eric is getting this out in a rushed whisper as he carries me to the transport that will take all the underage factionless away.

The others are all asleep while I am awake. He sets me down in one of the seats and looks at me worriedly. I realize I still haven't answered him. I nod to him just before the doors to the vehicle close.

It is dark inside and I hear the breathing of the children and teens around me. They all fell asleep with dreams of standing beside their parents or caretakers as we were to take the city by storm.

I can still remember one little boy playing with his brother. Playing like they held imaginary guns and chasing after each other. Calling out that they got the bad guy. It was play to them and the adults had all looked on with big smiles on their faces like they weren't sending them off to be little more than cannon fodder and human shields.

I knew all of the horrible things that were planned by those I had taken the lives of and yet still I was struggling.

Maybe the struggle is because there is one person that I dreaded to be faced with. Dreaded looking into the eyes he shared with our mother and seeing the same dead expression in them as hers when he looks a me.

What does it say about me that I think I can live with what I have done and be fine eventually but if my brother were to look at me like she did just before she closed her eyes...I don't think I would want to live anymore at all?

There is no answer for me in that long drive away. Only darkness within.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just wanted to shout out to DYK and jojuarez26z - Thanks for all the support! I really appreciate it so very much.**

 **Disclaimer: V Roth owns the circus, I am just setting loose my own monkeys!**

 **Eric**

"This is bullshit and you know it Jack! He doesn't want her questioned because of what it will bring to light about him plain and simple." Four spits out angrily from across the table. Not able to hold in the anger that I am sure all of those gathered here in Jack Kang's office are feeling.

I know I am sure as hell feeling anger. Murderous even. That bastard Marcus Eaton has made me break my promise to Scout...or it would seem like I had. It would seem to her like we got her to do our dirty work and abandoned her.

Jack sighed loudly, looking tired and haggard. It had been a long three weeks since the take down of the factionless. Trials for those factionless that were known to be part of the group firmly under Evelyn were first, followed by questioning of every other adult.

Then there had been dealing with the kids and the fallout from them losing the only family or caretakers they had. Investigations into their mental, emotional and physical well being had turned up all kinds of disturbing things. Which had given Marcus a prime opening for moving to have all the dependents sent to a facility for intensive treatment.

It was true that more than a few of the older ones had been so brainwashed that there was the fear that if they were put into homes with families or a group home; they would be a valid danger to themselves and others.

He made sure to use Scout as a prime example of one needing the most treatment and care. Between the order that we had given her to not speak to anyone unless one of the three of us are present and the depression she had sunk into after her confrontation with Four, it had only given Marcus all the ammunition he needed. She took the order to heart and wouldn't speak to anyone. She was barely eating and almost catatonic from the evaluation notes.

While we all agreed that she would have and still does need counseling none of us were happy with the move he pulled. All the factionless children were placed in a care facility that was put together by Abnegation but ran and located in Amity.

All children _but_ Scout.

She was sentenced to Erudite. I say sentenced but they are calling it treatment in their specialized facility. Considering I know what that kind of treatment can entail, it is a prison sentence. In pre-war days they called them insane asylums. Erudite has chosen to use the terms retreat.

Her being sent there already had be unsettled after what happened with my father. But especially since I saw her eyes the day she and Four had finally gotten to see each other. I could have killed him for how he had reacted and treated her. His look of anger. His harsh words asking her how she could do something like that.

She shut down. It was like I watched someone die but still remain breathing. Then she had uttered the words that had sealed her fate and put her in Erudite's hands.

' _It would have been better had I not injected myself with the preventive and went with her. I have been thinking about that lately. I am sorry if I hurt you, it was never my intention. The way things are looking you won't have to worry about me anymore.'_

Even her tone was dead, devoid of any of that fire and life she had only ever shown before. Four hadn't grasped the meaning of her words or what they were going to be taken as but I did. I knew she meant that the way she was being separated and questioned it looked like she might be in Candor for a while. Or going with the other kids. The observers had interpreted it as something else altogether.

They took it as marker of suicidal or self harm plans. She was shipped off two days later and we haven't been allowed access since.

Four and I had our first physical altercation since we were initiates about that. I get he was hurting and out of his mind worried. I can also understand a little that even though he moved past wanting or needing her love, he didn't want Evelyn's death either.

He should have been able to put it aside and realize what it had cost Scout to do what had to be done. Maybe if he had seen her like I did. Cradling her mother's head in her lap and softly stroking her hair. Maybe if he had seen how she had let the tears fall and shown how much it had hurt to do it. How much it had done exactly what I was afraid would happen, what I warned her about. If he had seen that then I think he wouldn't have worried that she had become some monster.

I tune out the useless arguments back and forth between the others. In my mind I have a plan. It was something I had been keeping in my back pocket about Jeanine. I had planned to use it to hurt her badly and bring her down. A plan I had been working on for a year before transfer and every year since. My plan for revenge had been a slow building one and had taken a lot of patience.

Plans had a way of changing in unexpected ways though.

* * *

Jeanine had kept me waiting in the office she used for cases like this. Times when she wanted to unsettle or upset someone before we finally showed up. The walls were all white and there was no windows or views to anything but the desk, a computer and a chair. All done in white.

I had expected it and even welcomed the time to gather myself after having set foot in this place for the first time in years. Until now Four and I had done a switch; I dealt with Marcus and he dealt with Jeanine. It had been an unspoken deal between us that even Max had agreed to by making the assignments himself.

Meeting her now was necessary and unavoidable. I had given the ' _due process'_ its shot. I waited two more weeks for Jack to be able to get Marcus and Erudite on board with releasing Scout. Nothing had been accomplished other than they agreed to allow one visitor. Max was able to get Tris approved.

There wasn't a good report and I knew I needed to move fast. Which is why I am sitting in this office the following morning from the visit Tris made to the facility Scout was put in. The place alone had shaken Tris up bad enough that Max had given me a thumbs up to do what I needed to do. He knew of the cards I held in my hand and what I had originally been planning to do with them. That had to change but I wouldn't be walking away completely empty handed if I had my way.

Jeanine finally glides in with a smug look that falters slightly as she looks at me. She probably expected me to be angry and caught in the memories of my past. To let my emotions get the better of me like they had many times before. I know she didn't expect to see me calmly sitting in the chair I sat in all those years ago where she told me about my father's death. Or that I would have a pleasant smile on my face.

She sits in her own chair behind the desk and looks at me. She is so very careful to mask her emotions so anyone else would miss it. The flash of apprehension and fear. My smile widens and I lean forward to slide a small disc across the desk towards her. She looks at it like I just put a bomb in front of her and she couldn't be more accurate in that.

"I think you are about to find yourself very open to the suggestions that will be coming your way shortly. In fact you are going to be so open, you will be the loudest voice in endorsing them. If not then why is contained on that disk makes its way into hands that would be _so_ very eager for that information. If you play nice though then it will remain where it has been for the last two years."

Her hands tremble slightly as she picks up the disk, opens the case and then puts it into her computer. I wait silently and patiently as she scans what is on it. Finally she turns to me and her lips that are normally red appear to be thinner and going bloodless.

"What exactly do you want from me?" Not a trace of anything other than defeat rings through in that softly spoken sentence.

My smile disappeared and I let her see what I want, have always wanted, in my eyes.

"Oh, I think we both know what I _want_. I remember very vividly going into great detail to you in this very room what I wanted." She shudders as the memory of that and my words come to her. I breathe in carefully to maintain my calm. I shrug casually before I start to speak again. "I have grown since then and have learned a great many lessons. Some of them I even learned from you. I still get what I want but I also get a hell of a lot more."

She remained quiet as I laid it out for her. Basically, I have just made her and Erudite my bitch...or Dauntless'.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the response to the story. I am sorry for the wait but real life doesn't always play nice with writing plans. Here is the next installment! I really hope you enjoy!**

 **Four**

"Yo, Four." Zeke yelled out to me as I was leaving my offices to grab some lunch in the dining hall.

I stopped and turned back towards him. He had just stepped out of the control room and was looking at his phone with a frown. "Something wrong with your phone? Amar has been trying to get ahold of you for the past hour."

I take it out of my pocket and then groan. I had forgotten to charge the damn thing again. "Just same old thing here lately. Forgot to charge it."

Zeke nods but doesn't say anything regarding my latest foul up in keeping my focus on duties and responsibilities. I was being cut slack that I didn't deserve one bit in my mind.

"Well, Amar needs you to take a transport to Erudite to pick up Eric. Then you guys are rolling out somewhere but they wouldn't tell me where to." Zeke said with a shrug, looking back at me after typing something in his own phone.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck. "Let me grab my charger and stop by to let Tris know I'll be leaving."

"Oh, umm...they want you to take her too."

I frown deeply and tilt my head but I can tell from his look he really doesn't know what's up. I would think it might have something to do with Scout but my hopes along that line have been so thoroughly trashed that I don't bother with that line of thought.

I give him a nod as I grab my charger for the phone from my office, head to the dining hall to get Tris and grab a quick bite to take with us as we head to the garage where the transports are.

"You don't know what he wants both of us for?" Tris asks from beside me on one of the seats in the van. "Do you think it could be about Scout?"

I sigh and look out of the window while she takes my hand in hers. I don't deserve the level of care she has given me during all of this. Not after some of the shit I have said. For sure not after how I treated Scout the one and only time I saw her just after everything went down. I don't deserve it but I cling to it and her for strength.

"I don't know, Tris. I'm afraid to hope for it anymore." I admit softly as I keep my eyes on the city passing us by as we are driven to where Eric is waiting for us.

She doesn't say anything, only squeezes my hand tighter.

When we get to the Erudite tower, Eric is already standing outside of it. His expression is unreadable as always so that gives me no indication one way or the other. He gets into the empty passenger seat and mumbles to the driver. Presumably where we are going.

Amar had been outside with him but he walked away and to another waiting truck. I quirk an eyebrow at that but don't bother to ask anything, seeing Eric's current mood. The driver guns the engine and heads out while Eric is tapping away on his tablet.

Tris and I share a look before she taps his shoulder. "Does his lordship want to share where he is hauling us to?"

The fact that the usual playful barb and banter from Tris doesn't get the slight twitch of his lips is a bad sign. If anything his face hardens even more before he looks dead in my eyes.

"We are going to get, Scout." His voice is grating, probably because he is talking through a clenched jaw. He looks over to Tris and then back to me. "You didn't tell him how bad it was. You didn't tell _me_ how bad it was. We are about to get a first hand look at what hell on earth really is."

My head snaps over to Tris and her eyes are wide filling with tears. She shakes her head to deny….something. "They wouldn't let me past the front reception area. They brought her to a little room where I was made to wait. I told you that I couldn't tell you anything other than she was drugged out of her mind. I had to keep wiping the drool from her mouth it was that bad. I told you everything I knew but even with all that I could tell it wasn't good."

Eric sighs from his seat and rubs his eyes. "Shouldn't fucking be doing this...but you need to know. You can't blow up around her again, Four. Especially after what they have been doing to her."

It is on the tip of my tongue to demand what he means but before I can he is holding his tablet out to me. I snatch it up and Tris crowds me to read over my shoulder. I rapidly flick through documents with mumbo jumbo that I have no clue how to decipher until I land on something I know all to well.

Tris gasps from beside me and I let the tablet fall from my fingertips. I guess Eric was watching closely because he snatched it back up. Good thing because I felt like taking it and throwing it as hard and far as I can.

"The used her for experiments!" I yelled in my rage.

Not just any experiments but the fear sims. With their supposedly new and improved serum that would make every single fear feel exactly like they were truly in it. Not even divergents were able to tell the difference, or that is what myself and the other Dauntless leaders had been told.

"I'm not sure what exactly they used as her fear but I have my suspicions. It's why I needed to prepare you, so you won't react angrily or violently; they would have used you Four. Rather what she was afraid of most about you."

"She's afraid of me?" I asked around a throat that was closing under the strain of all my emotions.

It was Tris who squeezed my hand and shook her head. Getting me to look at her. "She was afraid of losing you. Of you hating and blaming her. If they used anything it would have been that."

I see Eric's nod from the front seat but he doesn't say anything else. None of us do. I am caught up in the blame and guilt I felt from the moment I exploded on her. I let my temper get the best of me about how she went behind my back and did exactly what I feared about myself. In my anger I lashed out and used everything I knew would hurt her.

The rest of the ride is that kind of quiet that is also suffocating. The tension and words going unsaid. I can feel Tris being supportive beside me but she is lost in her own worries and anger at me. She hasn't quite forgiven me all the way for my behavior towards Scout either.

Eric and I already went a round where he put me in the clinic he unloaded on me so badly. I think if he could right now, he would go at me again. He holds back though. Looking like something carved from granite that is somehow miraculously able to move.

That is how we move through the facility holding my sister. The front area is exactly what I would expect from Erudite. Cold, pristine and variations of blues. We get past the reception area and things start to decline rapidly. Eric is barging us through with a tittering doctor trying to keep up like some small yapping dog.

He waves her away and gives her a look of pure menace that I can for the first time appreciate and admire. I even find myself matching it when I was able to process her high pitched squeaking.

The doctor was trying to prepare us for Scout's state while at the same time making excuses; nothing would have prepared any of us for what we found.

Scout's eyes looked like huge dark circles locked into a perpetual state of fear. She was in a dingy and dark padded room that smelled of mold and bodily fluids that were never cleaned or treated. The gown she was in hung off her frame and her beautiful hair was a clumped and matted mess. All of that pales in comparison to what happened when she saw me enter the room.

Raw screaming came from her that must have hurt her throat from the sound of it. Like she had been screaming and crying for so long and so badly that every bit of her throat and vocal cords were raw and battered. She was trying to scramble away into the wall and seemed to collapse on herself.

My first instinct was to run to her but it sent her into a crazed panic so I found myself being hauled out. Eric had to pull me away while shouting at Tris that she needed to get Scout to Amity right away and to Johanna.

When I began to fight and scream at Eric, two of the Dauntless guards he had ordered here in case we met resistance helped to hold me and drag me out.

"Four, you need to calm your shit. You are making her worse man." Eric was hissing at me while they drug me along.

I could hear the scramble and broken cries coming from Scout behind us. I could hear the doctor ordering a sedative to be given and I almost blew up in a rage at this until I heard Eric telling me it would help her.

I stopped fighting them, jerked out the guards grip and stalked away. Trying to put as much distance between myself and Scout as possible; as quickly as I could. When I got out to the truck I slammed into the front. Eric started to slide in behind me but I finally was able to look at him. He took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Please." Was all I could get out and hope he understood.

He was stone statue for a few seconds before he nodded. "I'll make sure she gets settled and set up there."

It was all he said before he slammed the door and walked away. Once again looking like granite come to life as I watched his retreating back walk into the facility again. Once he was lost from sight I slumped into my seat and sighed out my command to the driver. "Dauntless."

Eric understood what I needed and I would be forever grateful to that and him finding a way to get her out of that place. It was up to the only two people in the world I would trust with my sister to do what I couldn't and be there for her.

 **Scout**

I am told that it has been seven months since the factionless takedown. Seven months, ten days, and four hours. I would count the minutes and seconds but I was told that would be obsessive behavior. Spend a little time in a place like the Erudite _Retreat_ and anything that reminds you of that place would be a big heck no.

I am not sure when I started to realize I wasn't still in hell but I think it has only been over the last two months. That is how long it has taken to undo whatever it was that was done to me. In all that time I have been staying at the home of one of the Amity that is helping the factionless kids. Since I was such a special case she has been staying home and tending to me.

A place was made for us in Amity. I have heard it is like a dream to the others. Comfortable beds, plenty of food, being taught like they are faction kids; I have heard but I haven't been able to find out for myself.

It's not like I am in a bad place. Sonya has been amazing and she even got permission for Damien to be here as well. They thought having a familiar and comforting presence of someone I knew from before would help me come out of whatever it was I had been in. It did help. It is helping even though I am still in an isolation of a sort. I can still have episodes so the counselors here in Amity think the best thing to do would be to introduce me slowly back into the world.

I am not upset about it really. I am still coming to grips with what has happened to me and the thing I had done. They used that against me in the institution along with my fear of what TJ would think of me. The worst is that the fear changed into me being capable of killing anyone and everyone I loved. That has been hard to come back from so I haven't minded the isolation.

I have had visitors. Tris, Amar, Uri and Lynn have all come often. Eric had been here too but not as much lately. Damien said he was here a lot in the beginning. The way he made it sound he almost lived here for the first few weeks. Then duty called and he went back to Dauntless.

The one person I haven't had visits from is the person I most long to; TJ. I guess I didn't do to well for the first few months with just the mention of him or being shown his picture. It wasn't until a few months ago it was declared I could start communicating with him slowly.

Eric and Amar came then connected me by phone call with him. I couldn't talk long. I ended up a sobbing mess and was sick to my stomach for a full day after. It got better though and the next step was a video call. That was even shorter and I think Eric might have scars in the shape of my nails from where I gripped him so tightly.

I got through it and the conversations became longer. Pretty soon I could talk to him nightly and without anyone having to hold my hand or be near me. Now it is coming on the first time I am going to see him in person. It is just going to be for a dinner but I am nervous and excited all at once. Sonya and Damien both think it best not to overstimulate me, so the only people that are allowed to come for the dinner are Tris and TJ. I was told that Amar would be nearby in case he was needed but he was going to be dining with Johanna and talking about the education addition for the factionless kids.

In an effort to help ease my nerves I have busied myself. Cleaning has always been a relaxing activity for me so after I get permission from Sonya, I busy myself with that. That was another behavior that was criticized during my stay at the retreat. They called it obsessive compulsive behavior.

The Amity counselors that work with me; Sonya, Willow and Bethany all tell me that it isn't true. Sonya was once Erudite and that is part of the reason she was chosen to handle my care. She understands the terms and the real meanings as well as the behaviors behind many of the conditions they tried to say I had. She has told me that what I do when I clean is taking pride in the space I call mine or home. That I care about my appearance and that the routine of cleaning and caring for both of those things was my way of comforting myself and taking a bit of control in a life that I had none.

The difference between what I do and what people that have the disorder is, is that I don't obsess about something getting dirty or being out of place. I still ask for permission to clean, something I was made to do when I was lucid enough at the institution. Sonya has told me that it is not necessary and I will eventually come to realize this on my own.

There isn't much to do in the way of cleaning so with Sonya's permission and even suggestion, I grab a basket and go out into the small flower and herb garden she has on her property. This is something new I am being allowed to do. To go outside into the bit of land she has around her two story home. It is deemed safe enough because there is a combination of a stone and wooden fence all around. She has sheep, goats and chickens that roam freely in the area around her home but that fence keeps them from straying beyond it.

It is a built in security to keep me from too much outside world exposure. Before I go to collect the flowers I seem to prefer, I put the basket for them down and go pick up the one with the feed for the chickens. I will do the goats as well but the chickens tend to follow me around and get underfoot if I don't give them something to peck at.

I talk to them as I feed them. I am always talking to the animals and have always done so. I sing to at times though not as often now after everything. I feel good though. I feel lighter than I have in a long time and a small song starts to bubble up. I start out tentatively at first. Starting and stopping because it almost feels like I have forgotten how.

But the chickens are clucking and I can hear the horses in the paddock pawing or snorting, it all creates a rhythm and I find myself matching it. I lose myself in the song, the sun and fresh air. The skirt I am wearing swishing slightly as I dance around the chickens and laughing as they seem to dance with me. I do a spin that would make one of those princesses in fairytales proud but then come to an abrupt stop and gasp, dropping the bucket I am holding.

I am glad I don't scream because that would have just been as mortifying as being caught trying to impersonate Snow White with a bunch of farm animals by Eric. He reaches out like he is going to try and catch the bucket but it is too far. It clatters loudly to the ground, corn and grains going everywhere and then the frenzied and happy clucks of the chickens around my feet begin.

Eric lets out a laugh and reaches for my hand instead, pulling me away from that. "Better get away or they will peck your feet off." He nods with a wide smile at my bare feet.

I look down and blush red. "Didn't know anyone was coming." I mutter while still blushing. I look back to him and he squints looking up at the sun and then around slowly.

"I was in the area and thought I would stop by, check on you. I know you have the dinner tonight." I nod and shuffle my feet a little. "You doing ok with that?"

His thumb brushes the top of my hand and I realize that he is still holding it from when he took it earlier. I bite my lip, still looking down and shrug. When I look back up his blue eyes are patiently waiting for my answer and I can see worry there.

"I am nervous. I cleaned but you know how the house is already. There wasn't anything really for me to do. So I thought I would come out here, feed the animals and maybe get some flowers to put out."

He squeezes my hand before he nods and lets it go. He looks to the chickens and smirks. "Well, I'd say they are taken care of already. Mind if I join you for the others?"

I smile and shrug with a nod and follow him as we walk to the area where the hay/alfalfa mixture is kept for the grazing animals. We work in quiet at first until I ask him how things are going in Dauntless for him.

He shrugs and tells me that things are good in general. He is busy in helping to get Dauntless updated as far as technology goes. Starting with the security and monitoring systems they have. Then all the major things that keep the faction running will slowly be retrofitted or upgraded.

"So what brings you to Amity then? I know you said you were in the area." I am in the middle of trying to herd a few of the smaller goats to an area where they can get the feed I am setting out for them.

"Like I said I wanted to check on you…" Eric says with a pause as he leans against the fence "...but I was also meeting with the counselors over at the LHH."

I smirked at the nickname that had been given to the place where all the factionless kids have been sent to. I don't even remember who suggested it first when Eric was telling me about the place. It was at a time when I was so foggy and out of it.

I just remember him talking to me, this steady and reassuring voice that would guide me out of the darkness at times. He had read to me, that I do remember clearly. I haven't ever told him I remember that. It was the first clear memory I have. Me being in a bed I didn't recognize and his voice coming to me as he was reading. The book just happened to be where the nickname came from.

The Last Homely House was where the hobbits had taken refuge while on a quest to rid the world of evil. It was where Bilbo recovered after his heart was pierced with a sword of Mordor. Where he himself had been drifting into nothingness to become a wraith. Cursed to the shadows and be a servant of the darklord. It had seemed to fit that the children would all find a place like that to finally rest and find peace. Eric had thought so too because from then on he would call it Homely House or LHH.

We finish with the feeding and I go collect the basket for the flowers. I expect him to excuse himself but he doesn't. He just takes the basket from me and follows along as I wander into the area where wildflowers are allowed to grow waist high. It isn't a full field of flowers but it is close enough. I sigh as I go to the center of it and sit. Virtually disappearing into the riot of colors.

Eric looks down at me and shakes his head. The sun is shining behind him so I can't see his face but he gives a heavy sigh and then sits down beside me. His posture is stiff at first. I try not to laugh at him as I start to pull some of the flowers from around me. Breaking them down to size for the glass or ceramic vases I will put them in at the house. When I look back at Eric beside me he is leaning back with one arm holding him up, one leg is laid out flat and the other he has bent with the other arm resting on it.

A smile creeps across my face as I see he has a few flowers in the hand resting on his knee and he is twirling them, the entire time he has a scowl on his face.

I can't help it. I break out into laughter and his head jerks up to look over at me. Eyes wide.

"I am sorry." I say after I grab my stomach and am bent over slightly, laughing. "It's just...you look so relaxed but your face. It was like I could hear you thinking... _fine I will relax but I won't enjoy myself goddammit_!"

"Shut up." He scoffs at me and throws the flowers in his hand at me. "Maybe I was thinking about work. How it never seems to end or that this is the first time I have relaxed in…" he shrugs and looks off into the distance a dark look in his eyes.

We are quiet again for a few minutes before I speak.

"I remember you talking to me at times." I say softly but don't look at him. I start to arrange the flowers in the basket. The ones he picked, the ones he threw at me, those I tuck behind my ear and in my hair.

"You do?" His voice is soft and strained.

I nod and risk looking at him. "I'm sorry he had to go through all of that but it wasn't your fault."

"She wouldn't have targeted him if it wasn't for him trying to speak up about people like me. Trying to save me. She would have never found out about him." He is gritting his teeth and I move closer, slowly. He stiffens and watches me until my arm is brushing up against his side.

"You don't believe that, not really. It is easier to blame ourselves for the deeds of others though, especially when it takes someone we love away."

Eric looks at me for a long time before reaching out and gently pushing one of the flowers I put in my hair back in place. "Is that something you are able to accept for yourself now, Wildflower?"

I thought I had imagined it, the whispered nickname he had given me. Close to the one that TJ gave me after talking to me on the phone and on video calls. He calls me sunflower. He said it is because those flowers follow the light as the day passes. They grow in some of the harshest of environments but stay strong and are beautiful. I liked the name but they aren't my favorite flowers.

Wildflowers are and have always been.

My breath stutters for a moment and I almost forget how to breath. It is like when he found me that day and time stood still. I felt like I saw him then and I feel that way now as well. It didn't scare me that day that he could see me but it does right now. I am not sure why.

I nod slightly in answer and see the relief in his eyes. "Maybe there is hope for me too." He mutters this and then pulls his hand away as he turns to look towards the house. "You need to get back. I am sure you will want to clean up before they get here."

He is already standing before I can even answer. He helps me up but doesn't carry the basket this time. He does walk me to the steps of the house before he goes to leave. "Aren't you going to stay for dinner since you are already here?"

He pauses and frowns before he shakes his head. "No. I need to get back to Dauntless. Enjoy your dinner, Scout."

Then he is gone and I am left frowning after the figure in black as he disappears beyond a gate that feels confining to me for the first time since I got here.

* * *

I take a bath when I get back into the house. Dinner is already in the oven and everything is being prepped. I try not to intrude on Damien and Sonya. There is something brewing between the two and he rarely takes the time to deepen whatever that is. He is always busy helping with me or around the property so Sonya is free to help me too. When he is not doing that he is off to the Homely House helping there and with the kids. He keeps himself busy and I know my friend, he is trying to atone for the sins he feels he committed in not being there for them or me earlier. Trying to atone for not finding a way to stop it without causing me to suffer.

When I started to heal I was able to get him on the road to healing himself by letting him know none of it was his fault. He was in a no win situation any way we looked at it. I gave him my forgiveness even though I made it clear there was nothing to forgive him for. Sonya was able to take over from there and her presence and soothing words or actions is helping him heal. I think for the first time Damien is happy but that scares him.

So him working beside her in the kitchen in the quiet, I wasn't about to intrude on that time. Sonya gave me some salts to put in the bath that would have a calming effect for me. She smiled when I said I was going to soak. In her eyes it is progress. Me allowing myself a luxury and realizing I am worth it. That I deserve to be able to do things for myself.

Damien had asked briefly after Eric. He had known he was out there with me but didn't come to say hi or see what he needed. When I said he wouldn't stay for dinner, Damien and Sonya had shared a look. He had frowned and nodded but didn't say anything else.

I went to take my bath and put worries out of my mind. I needed to meet this dinner with a calm mind. I try the process of clearing my mind that Willow has been trying to teach me. Her method is using a physical activity called yoga. I don't know if it is the physical activity itself or just her soothing voice as she talks me through each pose, but it works much better for me when she is there. When I am alone with my thoughts it is so much harder. It isn't all bad, my mind is just busy. Always has been.

Fortunately, I am able to clear my mind and just relax into the water. The water is just turning cool when I decide to get out. The smell of something sweet being baked drifting up to me and luring me down to the kitchen. I get out of the tub and wrap the large fluffy towel around me while I clean the area after my bath. Then I make my way to my room and begin to get dressed.

I feel spoiled when I open the closet and look inside. Between it and the tall four drawer dresser I have in my room, I have way too many clothes in my opinion. Most of them are amity type of items. Dresses, skirts, overalls, shorts and tanks or t shirts. All of those vary in colors that are common in the faction. Some of the dresses have various floral prints while others are just a little bit more styled and what I call fancy. Other items are ones that were brought to me from Dauntless and are all gifts from the girls. There are a few black or dark grey sundresses but the majority of things they got for me are things perfect for physical activity. When I do my yoga or running with Damien, I wear the workout leggings and tank tops that Tris and Lynn both made sure to get for me.

Tonight I decide to wear one of the _fancy_ dresses. Sonya calls it a summer dress. It is made of a very lightweight material and is a deep red color. The top has a modest scoop neckline with buttons that go down until the top ends at it being gathered a few inches under where the breast line end. The sleeves go to just over my shoulders and are smooth while the top part of the dress is crinkled for a textured look. The skirt flows out slightly and goes to just above my knees.

I don't wear jewelry because I don't have any. I have makeup that Mar sent with Tris once but I have no clue about putting it on so I go without it. I leave my hair down and let the natural curls serve as a styling. As far as putting together a look I keep it simple. I add some plain brown flats and I am done.

When I hear the truck approaching I am in the middle of playing with the flowers I put in a vase for the dinner table. I swallow and go to the window to look out and watch as Four pulls up a small beat up Amity truck. He parks it in the covered area we have reserved for that and then the both exit.

I know both Sonya and Damien are behind me somewhere. Watching me as I get my first look at my brother in person. Ready to take care of me in case I break down or retreat. I think I half expect myself to do just that. Then I see TJ rubbing his hands on his pants like he is wiping sweat away and looking to be just as nervous as I felt, then nothing else matters but getting to my brother as fast as possible.

I rush out of the door, the screen slapping back into place behind me as I fly down the steps. He is halfway up the path when he spots me. I see him freezing momentarily but I keep going.

A smile even with my tears and me crying out his name; then he is moving and we clash together in a hug. His arms circle around me and hold me tight to him and I feel his ragged breathing as he buries his face into my hair.

I know that I am not all better and won't be for a while. Even now I can feel things I struggle with trying to take hold and make me cower back out of fear I will become everything Erudite tried to make me believe I am. The girl I was before all of this, I don't know that she will ever be the same. I don't know that I can be the fighter I was. I don't know if I ever really was.

What I do know is that right now I have my brother back and he seems not to want to ever let me go again. For this moment that is all that matters to me in the world. The rest I can work on.

We can work on it, together.


End file.
